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The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

by | October, 2018 | Uncategorized

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The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself

Reading the article “The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself” by Dr. Lisa Firestone in Psychology Today inspired this months newsletter. With the routines of school, sports, and other activities back in full swing it can often be easy to feel depleted and forget to take care of ourselves. This article identifies the fine line between being altruistic and simply not taking care of oneself. Dr. Firestone lays out 7 significant reasons why prioritizing yourself is not selfish at all but can actually improve not only ourselves but how we care for others in our life.

1.  When we feel depleted we have nothing to give. The attitude and perspective which one takes when doing for others can make the difference between it being a drain on your energy and mood versus being a life-giving experience. In order to make sure you’re in the proper mindset, be kind to yourself and make sure your own needs are met before moving on to the needs of others.

2. Doing what we love recharges us. At Quest Camp one of our most common coping skills used is taking a break to do a preferred activity or even simply talk about a preferred topic. It helps our kids to take a step away from the situation at hand and they become rejuvenated and ready to rejoin the group!
3. We lose our real selves in the “do, do, do” mentality. When we schedule every minute of every day that leaves no time to enjoy the life and relationships we’re putting all of our time and effort into.
4. We can drain others when we don’t get our own needs met.  Something we really value at Quest is self-care. As a staff, we take time out of each day in order to do something for ourselves. In previous research we’ve posted, even 20 minutes of self-care a day can have a large impact on your mindset throughout the day and how well you are able to care for others.

“If we don’t practice self-care and find healthy ways to meet our needs as individuals, we tend to have less energy, complain more, drag our feet, feel more resentment, and criticize ourselves and others, all of which can be draining to all the people we are seeking to benefit by setting aside our own wants and needs.” [1]

5.  We lose ourselves to our “critical inner voice “. Remind yourself of the motive you have for all your daily tasks. Rather than thinking of the things you have to do as a productivity checklist try to focus on why these tasks are important. For example, a parent’s checklist often includes packing lunches, doing laundry, chauffeuring kids around, etc., but these tasks can be more enjoyable and life giving if you can reframe your mindset to think about them as all the opportunities to care and provide for your child.
6.  We fail to practice self-compassion. Researcher Kristin Neff has found that being kind to ourselves actually makes us better able to look at our mistakes and make real changes. This fits with Quest’s core values about having a growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset. When we practice self-compassion we can view our mistakes as learning opportunities and positive ways to improve in various areas of our lives.
7.  Our stress hurts us and those close to us. Failing to make time for ourselves increases our stress levels which has a negative impacts on both our physical and mental health. This fits with previous research we have posted on cortisol levels stating that when parents have low stress levels, your kids in turn feel better and have lower stress levels.
You can always think back to the epitome of self-care analogies; put on your own oxygen mask before helping those around you!
[1] Firestone, L. (2017, August 17). The Unselfish Art of Prioritizing Yourself. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201708/the-unselfish-art-prioritizing-yourself

UPCOMING PROGRAMMING

School Year Programming

School year therapy groups are ten-week afternoon therapeutic groups that are designed to provide therapy by specifically targeting individualized goals for our campers.

A minimum of one hour includes therapeutic activities that heavily target the development of social skills, emotion regulation, and positive behaviors, while the next hour focuses on further skill development by providing a variety of experiential activities as part of a group to create opportunities to observe the child in a natural setting and intervene to facilitate change. Some quarters provide a special emphasis to improve skills, while other quarters have a more general offering based on the campers’ interests and often include programming in areas such as video game making, drama, art, movie making, etc.

Fall Group Started September 25th (Fountain Valley)

We are still taking final registrations! 

REGISTER NOW!!

Summer Programming

Quest’s intensive summer program offers 7 weeks of programming (6 weeks of day camp and 1 week of residential). The summer program includes individualized behavior plans, group therapy, occupational therapy, a social thinking curriculum, mindfulness activities, yoga, soccer, games in the park, and field trips (beach, Boomers, Rockin’ Jump, Discovery Science Center, bowling, etc.) to create a fun and engaging, therapeutic camp experience for children.

Weekly parent meetings are also included. The summer program has been found across multiple studies to significantly reduce hyperactivity, impulsivity, aggression, and inattention, while improving peer relations, family relations, athletic competency, behavioral control and self-esteem. Quest has also been found to improve social awareness, social cognition, social communication, and social problems.

Summer Camp Dates are:
June 24, 2019 through August 8, 2019

REGISTER NOW!!