Helping Kids to be Honest!

Check out the Spring 2019 School Year Group calendar!

Read the detailed description of Quest's Program Details!

Trust is an essential component of a parent and child relationship and can easily be broken with habitual lying. This month’s newsletter will discuss how we can set kids up for success to be honest. ADDitude magazine inspired this newsletter by writing a piece on how certain children can be predisposed to lying [1] but there are ways that parents can prevent this from happening and promote an honest home environment.

First, it is important to understand the root of where these lies are coming from. It is possible that some of the lies parents hear are the result of other difficulties children might be facing. These include impulsivity, inability to stay on task, and irresponsibility. For example, if a child asks to use something for a specific purpose, such as a computer for homework, impulsivity or inability to stay on task may lead a child to begin to play games or open other applications and drift from homework responsibilities. Although their intentions were not to be dishonest it can be perceived as dishonesty when confronted about their behavior. Being aware of these tendencies is a proactive way to encourage kids to be honest.

Parents can also be proactive by setting expectations of their children; by having open conversations about honesty and that it is an expected behavior within the family. Emphasizing that honesty is an important family value and that it is important to be accountable for one’s own actions, explaining that everyone makes mistakes or poor choices at times, can inspire children to be truthful.

Often consequences are given for not telling the truth. While establishing clear

consequences for lying can be beneficial in encouraging honesty, parents can also offer one chance for their child to be honest in the form of a bonus or no consequence. For example, if you catch your child in a lie give them an opportunity to be honest with you in that moment. At Quest Camp we often say something such as, “You can earn a bonus or reward for being honest with me right now and there will not be a consequence.” This gives children one more chance to come clean. For kids, honesty and telling the truth can be very difficult. Front-loading kids by telling them that honesty is expected even when it is hard can help to set them up for success. Empathizing with kids, knowing that honesty is difficult at times, will help them to avoid feeling shame or fear about telling the truth.

Furthermore, asking the right questions can make a significant difference in how your child responds. If you catch them in the act of stealing something and ask, “Did you do this?” it gives them an opportunity to be dishonest. A positive alternative might be, “I see that in your hand, let’s talk about what you can do differently next time.” This invites them into a constructive conversation with you and lets them know you are there to help them be successful in the future. At Quest Camp we always encourage our campers by letting them know that they are great problem solvers, and solving how they can make better choices in the future builds self-efficacy! Reiterating to your child that they have the ability to make different choices in your conversations with them encourages kids to think of alternatives to being dishonest and gives them a goal for the future. This may even include putting systems in place to eliminate the opportunity for lying all together. For example, instead of asking about homework assignments every day, you could use a school planner that is always put in the same place for everyone to check and look at. This setup gets kids out of the predicament entirely of having the option of telling the truth or not.

Equally important is maintaining your composure while confronting your children about these situations. This will show that you have respect for your child. It also provides a more welcoming context for kids to be open rather than becoming defensive when being confronted. Remaining calm is also beneficial in the fact that children mirror parents’ behavior. Modeling openness and honesty within your household, especially when a situation is trying, can be the most advantageous thing you can do as a parent. You are a main role model in your child’s life!

[1] Jaska, P., Ph.D. (2019, January 17). The Truth About Your Child’s Lying ADDitude Magazine.

UPCOMING PROGRAMMING

School Year Programming

School year therapy groups are ten-week afternoon therapeutic groups that are designed to provide therapy by specifically targeting individualized goals for our campers.

A minimum of one hour includes therapeutic activities that heavily target the development of social skills, emotion regulation, and positive behaviors, while the next hour focuses on further skill development by providing a variety of experiential activities as part of a group to create opportunities to observe the child in a natural setting and intervene to facilitate change. Some quarters provide a special emphasis to improve skills, while other quarters have a more general offering based on the campers’ interests and often include programming in areas such as video game making, drama, art, movie making, etc.

Spring Group Starts March 19!

Summer Programming

Quest’s intensive summer program offers 7 weeks of programming (6 weeks of day camp and 1 week of residential). The summer program includes individualized behavior plans, group therapy, occupational therapy, a social thinking curriculum, mindfulness activities, yoga, soccer, games in the park, and field trips (beach, Boomers, Rockin’ Jump, Discovery Science Center, bowling, etc.) to create a fun and engaging, therapeutic camp experience for children.

Weekly parent meetings are also included. The summer program has been found across multiple studies to significantly reduce hyperactivity, impulsivity, aggression, and inattention, while improving peer relations, family relations, athletic competency, behavioral control and self-esteem. Quest has also been found to improve social awareness, social cognition, social communication, and social problems.

Summer Camp Dates are:
June 24, 2019 through August 8, 2019

Helping Kids to be Honest!

Check out the Spring 2019 School Year Group calendar!

Read the detailed description of Quest's Program Details!